Article 37 – Evolve From Within

As we continue this series on overcoming failure, we’ve already established a foundational truth—failure is not the enemy, it is the teacher. We explored how leaders walk a razor’s edge, balancing perspective, and how removing ourselves from the equation allows us to take inspired action. Now we move into the next critical phase in the journey: evolution. Because the reality is simple—if you do not change from within, nothing around you will ever truly change.

As we learn new ways to overcome failure, we must understand that change starts and stops with us. The second E in LEADERSFAIL stands for evolve from within. If we want to grow, we must first begin with ourselves. As you mature, it becomes easy to lose sight of why you are pushing yourself, to only realize you're still feeling incomplete after achieving momentary success. Remember, goals can lead to incredible results, but it focuses our mind on the short term. Our attention is misdirected; we must become laser-focused on the long term and the process to achieve results. Chasing targeted goals is excellent in the short-range but leads to a hedonic treadmill mindset. A mindset that is focused on scarcity and losing. When that happens, you find yourself unsatisfied with the progress you've completed. You must evolve from within to maintain the long-term momentum needed to face failure. Here are six ways to equip you to face loss.

RAID: The Framework for Internal Growth

• Realize Your Weaknesses

The first tool to help you wage war on failure is a tool I developed centered around the acronym RAID. First, realize your weaknesses. It's hard to spend deliberate time thinking about areas we lack talent, but it's essential to identify them early in life. For example, I am a perfectionist according to the personality assessment called the Enneagram. In moments of stress, I pull work from others and choose to do it myself. That fact holds true in both my professional military career and personal life. Those actions can quickly spiral out of control and lead to bitterness and resentment. You must understand your weaknesses, starting with yourself and deep reflection.

Growth begins the moment you are honest about where you are weak.

• Acknowledge Your Weaknesses

Take those weaknesses and compare them to the results from those closest to you. Do those align, and are they traceable? Next, ask others around you what they believe your faults are. Once you can get multiple perspectives, begin to bound down your weaknesses. To take it even further, you can take personality tests like the Enneagram or higher a coach to help you navigate the waters. But the critical element of determining your weaknesses is acknowledging them. Once you have called them out, It's easier for you to avoid them. Once we understand our shortcomings, we can isolate them and create an environment that helps us prevent them from taking power. Purposeful Accountable Leaders (PALs) start to change from within by determining their weaknesses and avoiding them.

You cannot fix what you are unwilling to acknowledge.

• Identify Your Strengths

The next step is to identify your strengths. When we bound down our strengths, we are doing so by illuminating our lives. When you uncover your strengths, you can easily shape your environment to fit them. You can also quickly identify if your current environment is conducive to growth. Start in the same manner as uncovering your weaknesses. Ask yourself what you believe your strengths are. Reflect on your past life and focus on your significant achievements. Why were you successful? Then ask your coworkers, family, and supervisors. Write them all down and create a mind map diagram, cluster similar ones, and begin to identify trends. Finally, you can take a strength test by Gallup. I've used their assessment in all major leadership positions for my team members.

Your greatest advantage in life is found in understanding and leveraging your strengths.

• Develop Your Strengths

After you have identified your strengths, it's time to develop them. Just understanding your talents is not enough to grow. Growth requires inspired action, and action demands intentionality. I use a concept called the Pareto Principle frequently in my coaching. It states that 80% of the results we experience in life are caused by 20% of our actions. When we focus on our strengths, we're creating an unfair advantage in our lives. Think about it. Most Americans never spend the time required to discover who they are. Because of that, they are blindly taking action in life, which is equivalent to walking in a minefield? When you understand your strengths, you trap your weaknesses by setting the conditions for your life. You are creating intentional alignment and can live more fully. PALs are intentional and grow their strengths. They are raiders!

Intentional action on your strengths creates momentum that failure cannot stop.

Get Over Yourself

To evolve from within, you must remove your ego from the equation. Our ego is a byproduct of fear. Fear of trusting others, fear of not accomplishing the mission, fear you will be found out as a toxic leader. But ego can also be formed by having false confidence. Life has an incredible ability to strip you down. When we hold onto ego, it quickly turns into bitterness and resentment. Ego prevents you from asking for help. When those time strike. Realize you are not the center of attention. Instead, you are one point of a larger organization. You are not a one-man or woman show, whether that be a family, a team, or a major institution. When I was a platoon leader in Afghanistan, firefights with the enemy were a daily occurrence. But the level of intensity depended on whether we showed up as one team or as individuals. The enemy is looking for weaknesses; do not let that be yourself. John Maxwell said it best, "Get over yourself. Everyone else has." PALs do not let their egos prevent them from moving forward.

Ego isolates you—humility connects you and accelerates growth.

Learn To Have Fun

As an observer coach trainer at Fort Polk, LA, I was honored to train over 18 companies. Fort Polk, more specifically, the Joint Readiness Training Center, is well known in the Army. Ask anyone that serves or has served in the Army? I venture to bet their description of that place is less than impressive. But there is a purpose to the training. Units come there and test their metal before going to war or on operational missions that require life and death-action. It's designed to mentally and physically break you down because of that reputation. Everyone I coached had a negative attitude going into those exercises. As a result, they continued to suffer.

During one rotation, a company commander asked me why I was always so happy. I said this is my job. And yes, the location is not ideal, but the mission is! I'm here to help you and your soldiers become better. I've accepted the fact that I must be out here for the next 14 days with you. If I'm going to be here, I will have fun. That's just it. Sometimes you have to accept the facts of life and have fun. Some of the worst environments have been some of the most exciting times. It becomes infectious when we shift our mindsets and begin having fun. As a leader, life will accommodate if you have a negative attitude and find ways to be miserable. Instead, learn to laugh. Learn to stop taking yourself too seriously. If you can have fun, it creates more resilient teams and closer bonds. Victor Borg, a comedian, said it best. "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." PALs do not let the environment stop them from having fun.

Your mindset—not your environment—determines your experience and your growth.

Shine The Spotlight

To overcome failure and grow from within, sometimes, we need to praise others first. One of the roads to failure is fear and our own egos previously covered. As leaders, fear can cause us to hoard information. It allows us to rationalize why we should go first, why we deserve the promotion, and why we deserve the recognition. This thinking is limited and will lead you to toxic leadership and resentment. Instead, practice the Rule of Refraction.

PALs can bend the light from themselves onto others that are deserving. When we raise others around us, it helps our bodies to produce serotonin. In the book, Leaders Eat Last, author Simon Sinek calls Serotonin the leadership chemical. When we add value to others, we feel respected and, more importantly, needed. This sudden boost of serotonin leads to confidence and helps promote positive thinking. Do not allow selfish thinking to prevent you from growing from within. Practice being grateful and recognizing others. Selfish thinking will negatively impact not only you but everyone around you. PALs give praise and, by doing so, avoid mental ruts.

Leaders multiply impact when they shift recognition from themselves to others.

Find Your Burning Desire

Life is harsh, merciless, and without the motivation to inspire, it can lead to a failing mindset. But how can we cultivate a winning attitude, one that maximizes resiliency? It's finding your burning desire. Understanding our why allows us to push beyond our comfort zone. We refuse to let failure be final. A burning desire is the energy required to drive forward. But the why is the fuel source needed to gain momentum. In my leadership journey, I questioned why I am deeply passionate about becoming my best version.

Why am I unwilling to accept and give poor leadership? Because I've seen what one poor leader can do to an organization. Toxic leaders cause ripple effects that continue reverberating in individuals' lives for years to come. Once you have your fuel source, it's time to ignite it. That takes a mindset shift and a level of unreasonableness. When you develop a burning desire, you stop thinking of failure. You are focused on driving forward the actions needed to win. To begin to change from within, find your why and ignite your heart. PALs have whys so important, powerful, and emotionally connected it demands inspired action.

A powerful “why” turns failure into fuel instead of a stopping point.

A powerful “why” turns failure into fuel instead of a stopping point.

Develop Humility And Gratitude

To change from within requires you to stop being selfish. I was blessed to learn this lesson early in my leadership career, but life is unfair. I will always be eternally grateful for the lessons I've learned and the heartache I've endured. But others do not have this luxury. To become a PAL, you must begin to develop humility and gratitude. These are critical characteristics in creating a transformational leader. But how can you learn these without experiencing pain? Start by placing others first in your thinking. Tim Schurrer, a guest on the Tales of Leadership Podcast, has a powerful question he asks himself daily. Who am I here for? If you're a leader, which we all are, you must be here first for others. Place others first in our thinking. Second, look for what others need.

How can you add value to your family, team, or community? Blind action without a plan is equal to inaction. To develop gratitude and humility, ensure you're adding value with purpose. Third, follow through with it. You would not believe the number of times I've spent with others discussing issues, and nothing comes of it. You must act; that's what leaders do! You thought of others first and found ways to add value; now, do it. If you choose not to act, you slowly allow your heart to harden. PALs think, plan, then act.

Serving others with humility and gratitude is the foundation of transformational leadership.

Final Thoughts: Evolve to Overcome Failure

To overcome failure, we’ve now built a layered foundation. We defined failure. We shifted our perspective. We removed ourselves from the equation and took inspired action. And now we’ve arrived at one of the most important truths in this journey—lasting change only happens when you evolve from within.

To combat failure, we must first start changing ourselves from within. Start by determining what your weaknesses and strengths are, and acknowledge them. Second, focus on developing your strengths once you've identified your weaknesses and can trap them. Our strengths are the god given abilities that help us wage war on life. Once you have unlocked your talents, ensure you're not getting in the way. Ego can prevent action or asking for help. We all have an ego, but leaders control them. Third, you must have fun. Why does failure have to be miserable? It doesn't, especially if you're doing something you love. Make sure your actions are aligned with your heart. Fourth, be quick to shine a spotlight on others. When we do this, we're empowering our team, but we're also feeding our souls. Every time you highlight others, you're receiving serotonin. Serotonin begins to build confidence, but more importantly, you're gaining momentum and building a positive mindset. Fifth, find your burning desire. To do this, reflect on your why? The why once found, will demand a response and enlist your heart. Finally, intentionally develop humility and gratitude. That starts by thinking of others first, determining their needs, and pursuing with purpose. To overcome failure, you must evolve from within.

After Action Review (AAR)

1. What internal habits, beliefs, or weaknesses are currently limiting your growth as a leader?

2. Are your daily actions aligned with your purpose—or are you chasing short-term outcomes?

3. What is one intentional action you can take today to evolve from within and move forward on your leadership journey?

---

Tales of Leadership Mission: To develop Purposeful Accountable Leaders by arming you with the tools

required to lead with purpose, integrity, and accountability.

---

More Exclusive Content